It was raining very hevily early morning. Wanted to call you to ask you how are you going to go work. But i noe i cannot do that. Could not sleep anymore. Lay in bed for hours, 3 hours i guess. Finally decided that i have had enough of thinking of us, no matter how long i think for, you are not going to appear by my side. Kept wondering, is it because there is no more freshness in us. Maybe i could have tried harder to make our relationship be more interesting. I could have bought u a tic to come over to the States back den. I should have done so even before i left. I should have known that u always cant make decisions. When there is someone there saying all those stuff, it makes it worse.
I know your friends do not like me, but is there anything i can do about it, they fucking didnt give me any chance at all right from the start. I felt that i have always tried my best to make your friends like me, i have tried to provide myself there to integrate with you guys. But you never want me to. Sorry bout what i said at taka that day, but i was merely stating what i really feel.
Is there a place where i can throw a coin and wish and can return to the past. I would throw my entire wealth in it if i can juz have one chance to return to the past. Can today be 31st December 2007? I would never had boarded the plane. I would not have to go through the pain of having my everything taken away from me.
Its 10pm now, i made an exception today. I kept my phone on, in hope that u will call me. I feel really very sad, i know i should not expect you to call, but i just did. I really miss your voice, i really miss talking to you about my day, listening to wad happened to you everyday. I miss tucking you to bed everynite. Why did u have to take all these away, when all these meant so so much to me.
Some big screw up happened to my FYP, but who is there to listen to me? Sighz. You know i am so dependent on you, and you had to leave me.
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